Jack Jones and the Revenge of the Trees

So, with less than a week to go to our jolly boys outing to Wales, I thought it would be good to get out on one last ride, and get some riding legs in. For a variety of reasons, the crew diminished..... until I was the only one left. Not to be put off by the lack of friends, I headed out on my Jack Jones, parking up at the bottom of Holmbury Hill in car park 9, only 30mins later than we normally go out... well – I wasn't going to be late for anyone was I? The temperature was perfect, but with all the rain we'd had this week and the torrential downpour we suffered last night, I had a feeling that today would be a wet one! I set off for the summit of Holmbury taking our usual route to the top, a quick savour of the view from the top, and then it was down to take in Rollercoaster. The bomb holes full of water were back, there was no way I was staying dry, or the bike staying clean!! Through the rhododendrons, fighting off foliage en route, until a particularly vicious branch tried to impale me – luckily it glanced off my chest, but not before attempting to make the sign of Zorro!! Little did I know, but that was the first of the tree attacks...


After completing Rollercoaster, I headed back up to do Parklife. As I arrived at the entrance, about 8 other mtbers were coming down from the summit to start Parklife. As I wasn't sure of their abilities I decided to let them go first (didn't want to show myself up!). Mistake... big mistake. The guy at the back got out of the way pretty quickly was I thundered up behind him. I quickly descended on two more, but couldn't pass for a while – and I think they though I was their mate behind. A very short split in the trail, and a slight mistake from the leading guy, allowed me to speed past, only to catch up with guy number 3. I had to slow... no option – right to the end. I managed to hang far enough back to get the little jump in at the end of the trail, but did nearly end up taking him out! Oops!

Up to car park 1 and then down to the start of Barry Knows Best. I paused to drop my saddle, as two more guys thundered past hitting the start of the trail. With my competitive hat on, I set off with a view to catching them up. They were fast, and had a head start, but I was reeling them in. The route was quite nice today, a little damp, but ride-able – I gained confidence on some of the little jumps, and then had them in my sights. Just as I was about to get on their tails, they peeled off up hill – not doing the last descent into Peaslake!! Weird!! So I was on my own again. I dropped down the rooty section and into Peaslake, but didn't stop – instead I headed straight up Pitch to the summit. Took in the view briefly, and then onto that trail that Rich “found”... remember that? Tom, Mark and I had already done it a few weeks before Rich “found” it!! Storming through the trees, and carefully avoiding the bracken, I arrived at the steep rooty section. I paused at the top and then went for it..... just a little out of control, given how wet it was.... unfortunately, after successfully staying on the bike for about 5 seconds, the wet ground got the better of me. Somehow I managed to stay on the bike, while heading down the hill completely out of control. The only way I was stopping was if I hit something....so I tried to take out a tree... and failed.



Discretion being the better part of valour, and given I was out on my own, and couldn't see anything through my glasses (they'd got a bit steamed up!), I decided to skip the man made stone jump at the bottom! I headed back up the hill, nursing my sore arm! Back on the main track I found the double just off to the left, that Rich had showed me a few weeks back. I had been determined to do this jump when I set off this morning. The first jump is do-able, and I decided to take a look, heading back, I dropped my saddle, whilst giving some thought to the fact I was out on my own, and I'd just had a major wipe-out. Mmm... off I went, and stopped at the jump – nope, today wasn't the day to take risks – on my own and with Wales less than a week away.

Off to find the route I like, and which we've yet to name, and ultimately takes us all the way down to the churchyard. It was damp, no, wet... but flowed quite nicely, and was a nice run down. Peeling off at the churchyard, it got a little wetter. Arriving at the steep drop into the car park at the bottom of pitch, the trees fought back again – this time from the roots!!! The front wheel slipped, I went over the bars, hands first into the mud, and slid.... and slid..... and slid..... 20ft from the bike! Bugger!! This time it was the knee that hurt!! I figured after that, it was time for a tea! So I stopped at the Peaslake General store for my usual brew and a flapjack... I deserved it... comfort food!!

After my quick recovery stop, I headed up Radnore Road, and back to the summit of Holmbury. I guessed after wiping out twice, maybe I should call it a day and head back. Given the poor result on my first attempt at Parklife, due to traffic, I thought I'd give it another outing. This time it was easier, and fast – no-one to get in the way!! After Parklife, I headed for Telegraph and completed the whole length in one go... no stopping – and then back to the car park for the journey home. Muddy, wet, sore, tired, and a little bit disappointed with the lack of jumps. Roll on Wales...