Just thought I'd let you know that there is a medical reason as to why I have become a lardy fat-boy cake-snatcher over recent months, and riding like a hippo on a unicycle on the hill.
It turns out that I have a problem with my thyroid, which is not working. This is serious but treatable. I have some tablets to take (for ever, apparently), and these will return me to my svelt and racing-snake previous self over the course of the next few months, whereupon I will return to mercilessly taking the pish out of fat people again..
It was a close run thing... with my weight rapidly approaching 14 stone, and having just bought a load of bigger-necked shirts (none of my work shirts button up without me turning purple and eyes popping out...), I was in danger of having to follow my own beliefs and shoot myself in the back of the head before boiling my own lardy arse down for soap.
In the meantime, no more cake, thanks.
PS - in reply to Bish's comment below, yes, I am painfully aware that 'thyroid problems' are the favoured excuse of the 20 stone pie brigade..... and frequently have I responded with 'is that your cream bun gland then, the one that means you can't walk past a home bakery without emptying the front window, you lump of lard' ... So perhaps God is a fattie, and this is divine retribution.
A quick ride through the Surrey Hills with a group of 40 something mtbers who really should know better!
Not to be too harsh but isn't "a problem with my thyroid" what 20 stone birds say to justify their pie addiction?
ReplyDeleteSo with your weight sorted and Muddy Mary's on (just in time for summer) can we expect to see Steve Peat-like riding skills anytime soon?
Shame there aren't any pills that help with gaining Steve Peat-like riding skills Rich... Mark, please tell me you can still drink beer!!!!
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